Children Want to Tell you 10 Special Things
I’m not your messenger: Please talk directly to each other and don’t leave letters to each other in my knapsack.
Your anger is hurting me: I understand that divorcing leaves parents emotionally exhausted. I need strong, patient, and caring parents. You are teaching me anger when you are fighting with each other in my presence.
I’m just a kid who wants to play with you. Remember when we used to bake cookies and get all goofy? I liked when we went fishing in the kayak. Your happy mood rubs off on me.
Can you help me? I can’t sleep anymore because my parents think I’m asleep and then start yelling at each other. I want to speak privately to a counsellor because I don’t want you to be mad at me too.
All of my parents are important to me: My parents and step parents and grandparents all belong to me. Please don’t separate them out and tell them they can’t see me. I love you all and need you in my life. I want to see them and get lots of hugs and presents on special days. I really respect you and your decisions if you cut them off from me.
Money matters are not my business. Have grandma come over or Uncle Fred or my favourite sitter while the two of you can go somewhere else to talk about child support, debts, and other money problems.
It’s my birthday! Getting together on my birthday is awesome. So let’s celebrate this great day with me! Find nice thoughts and share my cake and sing with me.
Parents: play well together. I understand that maybe you are no longer friends together. That happens to me too sometimes. Begin with hello when you see each other and keep the conversation nice.
Adults talk with adults to resolve their problems. I’m not your adult counsellor. I’m your child who shouldn’t know about your adult problems during your divorce. I need to be discipline if I act out, be told to do my homework, restrict my school nights
Don’t buy my love. I want you to want to be with me. Teach me things. Show me interesting stuff. Make me do my chores and take responsibilities for a kid my age. I don’t want a pony.