What if My Spouse Doesn’t Want to Use Collaborative Approach?

lorisa stein collaborative approachWhat we don’t know about can be frightening. Share good memories about the time when a difficult decision was made with a great result because of the help of trusted friends and knowledgeable professional.

Consider the emotional tailspin you spouse may be in. Acknowledge that it may not a good time for your partner to be able to think about taking any step forward right now. Offering something to look at could be helpful: a couple of websites, a brochure?  If hearing about someone else’s positive use of the Collaborative Approach, there are helpful websites with videos showing different segments of the Collaborative approach being used.

Start a gentle conversation about what appeals to your partner such as privacy, control of the process, confidentiality. What about financial security, full involvement in the children’s lives, keeping the grandparent’s in the picture? Focus on the values you both share like effective processes and durable resolutions, fairness and reasonableness.